Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: budget crisis, democrats, financial woes, immature, maturity, politics, republicans
As I’ve grown and matured one of my favorite sayings (to myself, mostly) is “Would you rather be happy or right?”. I find myself saying this when I am defending a point that seems important at the moment, but as I feel my energy shift to a more argumentative ‘me against them’ style, if I am lucky enough to catch myself, I will stop, notice what I’m doing isn’t for the good of all or keeping me in a loving space, or even convincing the other that I am right, and I decide to let go of winning the point and put a smile back on my face.
I would like to ask our national Republican politicians to consider this idea as they are financially running our country into the ground by being right all the time. If our political process doesn’t mature quickly and allow us to deal with the important issues facing the country, the sun will set on our empire as surely as it has set on all others. We are creating a financial divide between rich and poor that will not only lead to big problems, but why would anyone think that in a great country it is fair for there to be such disparity? We should all want everyone to have a good life, not many mired in survival issues while 1% of us eat cake.
C’mon you elected girls and boys, grow up and I’ll start calling you ladies and gentlemen. Do the right thing.
Maury King
Filed under: Uncategorized
A great country?
Were we ever a great country? We look back on early America as the place people came for religious freedom and to have a new and better life. All of us immigrants when we arrived. Of course we had our way with the Native American population, believing the place was ours for the taking. What’s so great about that? (sound familiar Hawaii?) Later, people were killed for trying to start unions. Or just for having a different skin color. Was that a great country? Oh yeah, we were able to grow and grow and make some people very rich. (while plundering the planet)
It has been said that democracy is the greatest political system. I suspect that it has just taken longer to show its true colors. It does look good on paper. Maybe if everyone involved in this system operated with integrity and with the greater good of all in mind it would be groovy. But look where we have ended up. Everything is so much about greed and power. Sensibility, health, safety and quality of life are out the window in the face of corporations.
And our stuck with gears forever grinding political system can’t even begin to tackle the large, systemic problems like Social Security and Medicare that need addressing. Oops. I just felt a little bile in my throat. Oh editor, pray tell the nastiest words thou wouldst allow me to defile the do nothing while still blood sucking leeches gaming the political system for less than honorable reason?
We are at the point where future generations won’t have it as good as their parents (the experts say). What does that even mean? What will it look like? We are failing to educate our children in a meaningful way. We are failing to feed the children and ourselves healthily. Congress is considering a bill that would put huge corporations in charge of food and practically ban using your own seeds, having a backyard garden and hamstringing organic food production in the name of safety. Just the opposite direction we should be going in.
And to get personal for a moment, Hawaii has been talking renewable energy – Hawaii brags about being the model for the planet – while we have egg on our face for talking it while other places are walking it. And we speak about the importance of sustainable agriculture for our health and to provide a measure of food security and keeping money local. But can we ever do that with the power structure in place that has to put corporate profit over what is best for all residents? And they do that by controlling the land and the water. Let’s face it. This is not a can do state. The system we have in place will further stratify the rich and poor, leave us an unhealthy population, cause incredible environmental degradation, and overdevelop profoundly in anticipation of more (mostly rich) people coming. It doesn’t have to be that way. We could have a vastly different future by making better choices now. Why don’t we?
I don’t think we are a great country. If we ever were. Sure, we’ve been able to get things done. And depending on how you define better, we’ve done it better than anyone. We’ve made amazing advances in a lifestyle of bigger and faster things in it. (did I mention that thing about while plundering the planet?) We’ve made amazing weapons and used them to kill lots of people. (in the name of what, actually?) We’ve created a Wall Street that not only extends to all a deliciously dangerous debit lifestyle but thinks the citizenry is simply theirs for finding the best way to suck money out of. (and the citizenry goes along) And those leeches I referred to above facilitate it all by being bribed into submission by our whole political system and the way it is financed with wastefully ginormous amounts of money and favors owed.
Isn’t it about time we started paying attention to the fact that greed isn’t good, but ruinous? To our quality of life and quality of a possible future? Is there a chance for US to become a truly great country that looks as good in reality as it does on paper? Where to begin?
Maury King
Founder, ExpectMoreMaui.org
Filed under: Uncategorized
I got on the plane from Maui to come to LA for my 95 year old father’s hip replacement surgery on January 27th. When I got off the plane, I found out he didn’t survive the surgery. I know that is exactly what he hoped would happen. He told me so. He had low quality of life and was deteriorating. This is the best thing that could have happened, as he dreaded any kind of lingering, painful death.
I will accept condolences, but a relative pointed out that my whole relationship with my father has been a grieving process and his death actually ends that process, rather than beginning it. So I’ll celebrate his life and mine and get on with it.
I’m trying to sort out my feelings and start to deal with his estate. I’m the only one to do it.
Here is his obituary:
King, Norman
July 21, 1915 – January 27, 2011
Passed at 95 following hip surgery. Owned Crestview Service Center Goodyear Dealer on Pico Bl thru mid 70s. Had over a dozen holes in one at Rancho Park par 3. Survived by wife Esther and son Maury King.
More later.
There is no kisser and kissee. Both people are kissers. Both people have mouths and tongues. Tongues have tops and bottoms. Mouths have openings. For maximum pleasure, everybody uses everything. Go fast. Go slow. Go soft. Go hard. Leave a lot of white space, where you just hang out and feel each other’s breath.
Oh yeah, sticking a nice wet piece of fruit in between and seeing how much juice you can both get on you before eating it doesn’t hurt any. (clothing optional)
Filed under: Uncategorized
I was such a glass groupie for a couple of years. Your vase was by far my most expensive purchase. Believe it or not, I have 2 of Lino’s Saturn seconds (unsigned) and they each cost less than your piece (they hang outside, exposed to the rain and the elements. I love that and hope Lino would appreciate it). When I moved to Maui I ‘loaned’ the vase to a friend in Seattle. I think he was surprised to find out the loan was over when on a recent visit my girlfriend saw it and fell in love with it. So, we spent the better part of 2 days of our week’s vacation packing and determining the best way to ship it. Obviously it made the journey successfully. And we saw some great music on that trip, including Red Dress who once played in that room right next to the front door of your studio.
I so wish there was a good way for me to display it in bright sunlight for all to see, and to be able to appreciate the magic in the deeper layers, both sides exposed (hard to choose between the side in the photo and the other side, which has the fish that I picked out). The homes here have huge eaves to help keep them cool (it works) and they also block bright light from getting to the windows so short of having a bright interior light shining on it – not too practical, but we’ll be working on it – we’ll just have to enjoy the colors we can see, knowing that there are so many more hidden underneath. Maybe we’ll have a Take the Vase Outside and Share a Glass of Wine With It day once a month. I wonder which goes better with vases, white or red.
Thanks for making some great art and I’m glad I found my way to it. I like that the piece is home again.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I try to make a really good case for starting meetings on time. Have a look at http://pleasestartontime.wordpress.com/
Filed under: Uncategorized
They say big changes need to be made to move us into a sustainable future. I have a couple of medium size changes just to test our capacity to adapt.
I’d suggest mail delivery 3 times a week nationally. How much gasoline usage and air pollution will that eliminate? I’m sure we can live with our mail every other day. I hope we can find a way to keep postal workers fully employed. This is about saving energy, not costing jobs
I’d also suggest we move to a national vote-by-mail system for all elections. Not only will that save the gasoline of everyone driving to the polls to vote, but it is a more secure system that leaves a paper trail and results in higher voter turnout.
And I don’t know about where you live, but the faithful crew running the polling place I vote at is getting old and I don’t see many younger folks coming along to replace them. Who is going to run all the local polling places so we are assured of knowledgeable staff moving into the future?
I know at present local jurisdictions have the right to run elections the way they choose, but some standardization moving forward will assure us of keeping one of our most basic, sacred and important rights intact. This is a time when national confidence is being rebuilt, and voting is not something we should take any chances with.
Maury King
Filed under: Food & Energy Security, Sustainability | Tags: consumption, golden age of consumption, maui, Maury King, resources, stuff, Sustainability
When historians in the future look back at 2009, it will appear as the Golden Age of Consumption. This moment will probably be remembered as the time of the biggest cars, biggest homes on large pieces of land designed with excessive use of raw materials, water thirsty landscapes of ornamentals and not edibles, closets filled with extraordinary amounts of possessions. Lucky we live this age, eh?
Historians will also know what happened next. How we got from the Golden Age of Consumption to the Age of Sustainability, where by definition it means managing resource use so the next generations can thrive as we have. I think most people would agree that different behaviors will be needed. The opposite of keeping up with the Joneses, unless the Joneses happen to be the greenest family on the block.
Will people be willing to change their mindset and actions to create a workable new reality? I don’t know. Short of a wakeup call in the form of a catastrophe (like ships not coming here for awhile with everything we consume) I think not. Because the world continues to look and operate just as we are used to. Gas and food are plentiful. There is more stuff than ever available to fill our closets with and it seems an expanding economy is the only way to measure success.
Much of design of the world – or is it just Maui? – seems to revolve around the privileged few and not the average ‘rest of us’. And they use a hugely disproportionate amount of resources and stuff. That doesn’t seem like a recipe for a sustainable future. This is where I intended to put a brilliant closing thought. Sorry, I don’t have one.
So, let’s hope there is a future for those historians to look back from, and let’s make them proud of us.
Maury King
Filed under: Maui Politics | Tags: beach activities, government, maui, Maury King, vacation rentals, wedding industry
How does OUR government work, anyway? In just the last 3 years I’ve seen several industries that weren’t broken being “fixed” in a way that seems to have horrendous results for the local economy and the idea of keeping money circulating on Maui and creating local jobs.
The vacation rental business has been ‘slashed and burned’. That cost us a whole class of tourists that doesn’t prefer to stay in a hotel and cost us all the meals and activities and other purchases they might participate in; and jobs for the local people working to service and maintain the units. And after finally coming up with a plan for short term rental units, a new tax shoots the whole thing in the foot for many people. Of course the owners that lost their properties already due to the loss of income won’t be affected by the new rules. They’re gone.
The wedding business. What was wrong with the way that industry operated? It seemed to work just fine and made Maui a great choice for people to get married along with all the friends and family that would travel here and contribute to the local economy. Then, new rules were introduced in a most confusing manner with permits required for each and every ceremony and somehow national press appeared suggesting this wasn’t an easy place to get married anymore and that industry suffered.
And now, beach activity businesses. A new set of rules is being proposed that is intended to protect the reefs from the scuba industry. The reasoning (including consultants hired to review the process that supposedly never even talked to any of the business operators that would be affected)and the end result of this debacle just seems so wrongheaded. How were these conclusions arrived at for something that is currently a non issue but new rules will turn into overcrowding at certain beaches at certain times, but will put many operators stone cold out of business. The dive industry says they not only don’t hurt the reefs but teach people how to protect the reefs. The reefs are fishiest and healthiest in the reserves like Honolua Bay and Ahihi-Kinau, visited by thousands of divers and snorkelers, but no fishing is allowed. And with all dive instructors first aid trained, it is like having extra free help on the beaches in case of accidents.
I can’t wait to see the next thing government decides needing fixing around here. Just kidding.
I’m coming to visit our local politicians to learn more about the way things work around here and find out where the OUR is in our government. Who wants the first appointment?
Maury King
Filed under: Meaning of Life, True Confessions | Tags: craigslist.org, dating, dating opportunities, match.com, Maury King, online dating, online dating tips, plentyoffish.com, safe dating
I have done a lot of online dating on many different sites. Had a number of relationships with women I’ve met online and have a few thoughts that may be helpful. The best way I can help you is with the process of online dating as I experienced it because I don’t really know who you are, I don’t know if the way you describe yourself is accurate and there isn’t any way for me to know. Accuracy in describing yourself and what you are looking for in a partner are really important – and accuracy in what you look like in your photos. I hope that is obvious to anyone that thinks about it for a moment.
What site or sites are you thinking about joining? I recommend going to those sites and looking at the profiles of other men and women. Yes, both. One is your competition and the other is who you are trying to attract. Get into the way others are using the site so you can learn what you like and don’t like about the way people market themselves. Yes, it is about marketing yourself. Get over it. Remember, everyone else is marketing themselves to you. What a great opportunity.
When you visit a site to ‘research’ profiles, you don’t have to research the local market at first, go to Kalamazoo (or maybe the city where you are from or where you think there are great men and women you might be compatible with). Just read profiles to see how people are doing theirs. Feel free to steal words or phrases you like, especially from someone in Kalamazoo. Find ways to set yourself apart and be unique with your words. That is why you read other profiles, to see what everyone else is saying that looks boring and with a certain sameness and don’t do that.
Have good photos that are accurate and current and show what you really look like today. Look at the photos you like in other profiles. I like close ups of faces and some idea what the person’s body looks like. So someone 500 yards away standing in front of a waterfall shows me they like waterfalls, but not what they look like. My biggest disappointment with online dating is really starting to like someone online and on the phone and then not at all when we meet in person. That can be an instant letdown, especially if people have lied in their photos, so I’m recommending you don’t do that. That letdown can be just about what they look like – which can be avoided for the most part with accurate, recent pics - or also when people get together in person much more is revealed about each other very quickly and there just may not be any chemistry and you may know that in 5 minutes. Or 30 seconds.
You will need to prepare for this search to be a ‘project’ in your life. If you don’t have time for a project, do you have time for a relationship? You will probably be connecting online with multiple people and hopefully meeting several. You are only looking for one person (presumably; no judgment here), so there will be people that aren’t right and you can disengage from them quickly and courteously. That is part of the process. Use the meetings that don’t work to hone your people skills and become comfortable with meeting people this way. You should be able to check your email regularly and be responsive to people that you are in dialog with. Or, this may not be for you.
I do encourage that you search yourself for the answers about who you are and what you are looking for. Every site asks these questions in a different way. Most offer some space for ‘free form’ paragraphs along with all the check boxes. This is a great chance for some soul searching and to be realistic about who you are and what you are looking for. You’ll have to be willing to ‘brag’ about yourself in an honest way so you can tell people what your good qualities and activities are. Also, it doesn’t hurt to be honest about things that aren’t your best qualities so people can eliminate you if you aren’t right for them. Being willing to eliminate people in this manner makes for having less embarrassing coffee dates where you know in 30 seconds but have a full coffee in front of you.
You might get what you ask for, so get clear yourself first. And be willing to present yourself in a manner that represents you. This process will probably work best for people that don’t think of themselves as ‘private people’ as the more you reveal, the better your chance of success.
Have your photos ready to go, post them and hide your profile until the photos show up after being approved by the site (this works differently on each site but it is important) , so when you first ‘hit’ as a NEW member, your whole profile will be complete and ready to go. You only get one chance to make a first impression. More sophisticated sites like match.com that you pay for can email you when new people join that meet your basic set of needs that you can create, so when those emails first go out, you want your photos there.
Don’t just skip through the profile process thinking you’ll go back and answer all those thought provoking questions later. A bunch of answers that just say ‘tell ya later’ doesn’t cut it. Even if you’re just dying to get up and running cos you just found Mr Freakin’ Right and you have to email him Right Now!
You are not obligated to respond to everyone that ‘requests’ you (this is different on each site). You can just ignore people if not interested. I think a short acknowledgment and a polite ‘no thanks’ helps keep integrity in the system. I also recommend moving to the phone after just a few emails or less (that is like going from a one dimensional connection to a 2 dimensional connection) , but only when you feel safe; and meeting in person after a phone call or 2 (going from 2D to 3D). Don’t drag out meeting in person or beware of great expectations turning to great disappointments.
It isn’t the least bit about reality until you get face to face. It is only about what the other person has chosen to reveal and how you’ve colored it to make them into your perfect mate with hardly any information. And (this is the beauty of onlinedating) once you do meet, if you like what each other looks like and feel some chemistry, you are miles ahead of seeing someone across a room and thinking they are attractive, you already know a ton of other stuff about each other and it makes it really exciting to move forward. Especially if people have been totally honest all the way in the process. I once tried to lie about my age to appear ‘just under 50’ but the instant I met a woman I realized I had a lie to clear up before we even got started.
But, women especially, you can have some control over the initial meeting place, so pick someplace you’ll feel safe and comfortable. I like a face to face sit down over coffee or wine with a limited time for a first meeting. Getting together again, even later the same day if you’re hot hot hot, is better than dinner and a movie with someone you knew about after 30 seconds.
I also feel it a courtesy to let people know if you wish to see them again or not, and be honest about it so you don’t add to the conversation about men and women not trusting each other, etc. I would just ask if I wanted to get together again and accept the yes or no I got back, or say something like “thanks for meeting me, I’m not really feeling a strong connection and I wish you the best in finding what you are looking for” if I didn’t. There is nothing anyone has to take personally in that, though if people do, that isn’t your problem. If there is a better way to say ‘no thanks’, please let me know.
As a woman, don’t wait for the men to come to you online. Be sure to use the search features in whatever site(s) you are on and put in some basic criteria like non smoker or whatever is important to you and do your own searches. And write the men you’re interested in. Otherwise you might never find each other. For sure don’t start writing people until your photos have been approved.
I’m only going to say this one other thing about photos. Meeting people is a judgmental process. You will be judged just as you will judge others as someone you might be interested in or not. Certainly this is OK. So, if someone finds you unattractive I think it is better to let them do that online than over an awkward drink where they might be sitting there angry that you don’t look like the woman you looked like 20 years ago in your photos. Or, you’re now a fat(ter) guy.
Here is something interesting. Most people have heard and agree with the concept that ‘men care more about what is on the outside and women care more about what is on the inside’. How this plays out, as a generalization, is that women are happy to judge men on if they love children, do charity work and like to camp; but women don’t like to be judged on what they look like. I don’t think it is really men’s fault that we are somehow attracted to some women and not others. And no matter what the women say, they care what their guy looks like, too.
From my personal experiences, I like match.com for the best paid site and plentyoffish.com for the best free site, and craigslist.org can also be fun, depending on what you are looking for. I didn’t like eharmony.com as I thought they had way too much process involved in connecting with people.
*A little disclaimer here. If you follow any of this advice and end up married to the wrong person or anything else bad happens to you, it ain’t my fault. Not everybody tells the truth online. Or in person. So, keep your radar at a high level. Have fun, play safe, enjoy life. Oh, and everything I’ve said is the truth.
Maury King
